|Saturday, May 14th, 2005|
i feel like the biggest loser ever. its saturday night and i'm home doing absolutley nothing. and what makes everything even better is the fact that my tv is broken. thats just the cherry on top of the cake. ugh. i cannot believe literally all of my friends cannot hang out. this f-ing blows. |
but on a better note...i got my prom dress today!!! yay!! i'm soo excited! i found it at this little boutique in pleasantville so i doubt anyone will have it, and even on the off chance someone from my school does go in, they keep track of what high school their customers go to so that no one buys the same dress! which makes me happy! i actually found a pic of it online and i would post the link but i don't think that picture does it justice. it looks much better in person than it does on the website. and not that it looks better on me than the model who's wearing it (because thats probably very untrue) but the angle shes standing and stuff doesn't make it look as nice as it actually is. now i'm so impatient tho beacuse i really wanna get all my accesories and stuff to go with it. prom is gonna be soo fun! i feel kinda sad because i've been looking foward to prom since high school started. hmm...maybe i am a bit of a loser. whateve. the only bad thing is that i realized today how badly i need to lose weight and get a tan!
this coming month should be really fun. in the fall my parents are kinda all into my brothers football and my sisters swim team in the winter consumes their lives and i've never really done anything that amazing for my parents to be that proud of me so this is the one time i get some attention so for like 5 minutes i won't feel inferior to my young sister. so thats good i guess.
well i'm going to go find something to do with my life. adios
current mood: bored
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|Thursday, May 12th, 2005|
my family actually makes me want to kill myself....alot.
if i didn't have my friends or rob, i probably would have already killed myself! well, ok maybe not that but i would probably still be continuing on with a really bad habit. i don't know what i'm going to do without all of them next year. i will seriously lose all sanity i have left.
i'm almost definately going to end up transferring somewhere closer to home i think. the thought of being at new paltz which isn't even that far is making me crazy. i'm like a pathetic little girl. i miss rob after not seeing him for like 3 days. i'm gonna die.
its really strange. our relationship in general is really good, but i have always felt like its so obvious that i like him more than he likes me. lately though, some days i don't feel so much like that. like one night a couple weekends ago, he called me up at like 4 in the morning just to tell me he was thinking about me which i thought was very un-rob. it was soo sweet though. and then other days its just like normal and i feel the same way as i usually do. which is probably why i get SO heated when i see that his ex-girlfriend has called him. ok...i may or may not be a teeny bit creepy but occasionally when i'm at work and i have nothing to do, i go through his recent calls on his cell phone (which btw he does to me too so don't judge too harshly). so anyway both last week and this week i've seen that his ex-gf has called him. i seriously have NOTHING against them talking, i really don't. and i have nothing against her either, i mean shes never done anything to me. but for some reason i hate hate hate it when they talk to each other. its not so much that i'm jealous that he talked to her or anything, i guess i just hate being reminded that he had a real relationship before me. i mean nothing i've done in the past with other people has been at all significant so i guess it just bothers me that there was someone before me, who i think he felt more strongly about at the time than he does for me. i mean they did go out for a number of years which i know is substantially more time than 8 months but still....i guess i'm just kind of jealous and territorial by nature. and it seems like rob is slower to warm up to people in certain ways.
anywayy, i'm off to bed. nigghtt <333
current mood: numb
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|Thursday, May 5th, 2005|
11:26 pm - everyone else is taking this stupid survey so i guess i'll be a conformist...
[X] I've consumed alcohol -- plenty of timess |
[ ] I've run away from home.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[ ] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up. ... but think the anti-bush thing is out of control
[X] I am for Bush...somewhat
[ ] I listen to political music
[ ] I collect comic books.
[X] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[X] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[X] I watch the news -- occasionally
[X] I own over 5 rap CDs - from like 8th grade
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3.(ugh i wish!)
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic. - i would never willingly shop at that store
[X] I love Disney Movies. -- omg soo much!
[X] I am a sucker for hair/eyes. eyes...
[X] I don't kill bugs.
[X] I curse regularly.
[X] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[x] I am a sports fanatic. - kind of, i love baseball
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[X] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[X] I bake well.
[X] I would wear pajamas to school.
[X] I own something from Abercrombie.
[X] I have a job
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[X] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty oF tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I am self conscious.
[X] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[X] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[X] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[X] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem (maybe not 5 but like 3)
[X] I have many scars.
[X] I've been out of this country -- to the bahamas when i was a baby but i don't even remember it
[X] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[ ] I bite my nails...ewwww i hateee when people do thast
[X] I am comfortable with being me (most of the time)
[ ] I play video games.
[ ] I'm single.
[X] I'm in a relationship <333
[X] Saw a shooting star.
[X] Been to any other countries besides the United States.
[ ] Had a serious Surgery?
[X] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[X] have Kissed a Stranger.
[X] Hugged a stranger.
[X] Been in a fist fight. (when i was much younger)
[ ] Been arrested.
[X] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator -- haha sat. night @ emma's!
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[X] Swore at your parents.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Broken a bone.
[X] Skipped school. haha soo many times
[X] Flashed someone.
[ ] Saw a therapist.
[ ] Done the splits.
[X] Played spin the bottle...hehehe
[ ] Gotten stitches. (although i should have once)
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[X] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[X] Gotten the chicken pox.
[X] Kissed a member of the same sex.
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car.
[ ] Been to Japan.
[X] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Been fired.
[X] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back. who hasn't?
[X] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[X] Lied to a friend.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[X] Slept with a co-worker...considering my boyfriend is my co-worker
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[ ] Had children.
[X] Saw someone dying.
[ ] Been to Africa.
[X] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[ ] Been to Mexico.
[X] Been on a plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar. no..but i've thrown up from drinking too much
[X] Eaten Sushi. like once
[x] Been snowboarding. in my backyard but i dunno if that even really counts
[ ] Been Skiing.
[ ] Met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] Been to a moto cross show.
[ ] Lost a child.
[ ] Gone to college. SOON!!!
[ ] Graduated college.
[ ] Done hard drugs.
[X] Taken painkillers.
[X] done something that made you feel stupid.
[X] wished you were somewhere but here.
[ ] hungry right now.
[X] hate being last.
[X] wished you were someone else.
[X] Miss someone right now.
that was soo pointless but oh well. just got back from hanging out with rob and i'm incredibly tired...i've had to drink about 50 cups of coffee today to keep myself awake. so with that, i'm off to shower and then going to bed! nightt!! <333
current mood: sleepy
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|Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005|
so its now pretty much official. my mother (and probably my brother) is moving to georgia. i mean i knew this was bound to happen eventually but i hardly thought she would choose to do this over the summer which is quite soon. this is such an emotional topic for me. it makes me so angry that my mom would break up our family and move 800 miles away from her daughters. me and my sister are now going to live with our dad. i think he's gonna end up moving back into this apartment when my mom leaves. and one of my cats is going with her too and i think she's leaving the other one here with us. ughh wtf!! i mean i really do understand that she hates new york and has always hated new york but i thought parents like lived for their children. i hate this situation so much. its really making me and my mom hate each other. |
we got into the biggest argument about it tonight. and she made me feel like such shit. and then she got me really worried about her health and everything. i mean i know she is sick and everything and i do know that she is less healthy than she lets on but now i'm actually really nervous about it. i fucking hate that i have to deal with this now. what horrible timing. and can i ask you who the fuck wants to move to georgia?! what could POSSIBLY be down there?!?!?! and i dunno why in gods name my brother would have any desire to go with her. i guess he really is easy to manipulate. my mom bribed him soo much and i can't believe he's buying into it. and even worse i cannot believe she is trusting my asshole grandfather for a second!! he is such a horrible person. i can't stand him. why is it that everyone else seems to have sweet old grandparents who spoil them rotten and live for birthdays and my grandparents were in a mental institution / are rotten scum. ughh!! my family is sooo dysfunctional!
i cannot deal with change for the life of me. i'm so bad adapting to new situations for some reason. and with graduating high school and going off to college soon, i definately think i have enough on my plate without throwing this into the equation.
i don't know what i would do without rob. thinking about it i seriously don't know if i would be able to deal with all this right now if i didn't have him. i would probably have a mental breakdown and go back to some really bad habits that i've been struggling to quit. <333 he really is the best.
anyway i haven't really been able to focus on much else since my "wonderful" conversation with my mom so i'm off to try and do my math hw, then take a shower, and then finally get some sleep.
current mood: sad
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|Saturday, April 30th, 2005|
so its after 3 am and i was well on my way to sleep but then rob had to leave and now i'm up. i hate when that happens. |
anywayyy tonight rob came over and we just kind of hung around and watched a movie and stuff. it was nothing out of the ordinary but it was really nice. i feel like lately things have been going really well between us. he really is the sweetest boyfriend in the world and i seriously couldn't ask for better. i really wanna tell him how i feel but i'm soo afraid he doesn't reciprocate the feelings and i wouldn't want to put him on the spot like that. and i just wouldn't even know what i would do if i actually told him and he said "thank you" or something like that. omg i think i would die.
i was actually really close to telling him one night but i chickened out and then felt so stupid. i feel like i shouldn't be so scared. i mean he's my boyfriend and we've been going out for over 7 months but i've never said it to anyone before and i'm just really afraid. grr - i REALLY wish i wasn't such a coward.
anyway i'm sitting here eating cinnamon bread which is the dumbest thing ever but oh well...
after this i'm def. gonna try to get some sleep.
current mood: peaceful
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|Friday, April 29th, 2005|
my last entry was actually ridiculous. it seriously made me sound like a lunatic and if anyone knows me personally and knows the situation they would understand thats not true. that was probably the meanest thing i've ever written/spoken about a person ever and i actually feel pretty shitty about it. i was just soo angry at the time i wrote it and needed to vent desperately. |
what i really should have wrote is this: i've never actually really spoken about why i feel the way i do regarding this certain person. it is completely normal and quite common for people to drift apart. i mean its happened to me and i'm sure just about every person i can think of. but this i felt was kind of different. she was really only friends with us for about a year. and the funny thing is is that NOOO one wanted her around at first, me and a couple others in particular. it really took a lot for me to reach out to her because i'm very territorial with my friends but i knew that danny really liked her and was really adament about hanging out with her alot so i did my best. and thanks to us having a bunch of classes together and what not, i actually began to talk to her and like her alot. and we ended up becoming really really good friends. i mean margaret has always been my best friend but me and this person were, i thought, extremely close. especially during the times when margaret wasn't around (winter break & summer). there were things i told her that i didn't tell ANYONE else and i was so grateful for the new friendship i had made. i'm not sure what happened exactly but somewhere along the line, we just kind of drifted apar at the beginning of the school year. and i mean i was upset about it but i understood there were alot of different circumstances this year and stuff. and at first i accepted it for what it was and i really did miss her alot. but then the fucking comments started. "i've moved on to bigger and better things, my friends this year are so much more mature, i've never been happier, etc." thats what got me heated. i mean wtf. how can you completley blow off all the friendships you had last year?! i don't get it!!! and then what REALLLLLLLY aggrivated me was when she started calling the sugrues asking them to hang out saying that she missed them?! WTF!!! i mean i know that the sugrues were among the people she was closest too but i was actually really offended that they were the only people she made an effort to keep in touch with. and what really got to me was that the night i think she started getting all these second ideas about my group of friends was the night she came back after being away for 3 weeks. the sugs ditched her to smoke up and she had this whole epiphony that our friends weren't friends, just people who got together to smoke and drink on the weekends. and while i think that this kind of was true at that point last year, this year is SO completely different, only since she ditched us she has no clue.
everything is AMAZING this year. its like incredible. there is NO drama (imagine that!) everyone <3's everyone and anyone can just show up without having to worry about your presence pissing someone else off. its just so different.
anyway the bottom line was that this certain person losing touch with us was probably the most hurtful for me. i felt like i was SOO close with her and just felt soo much more betrayed. and i think that a lot of the problems with me came up when i started growing closer to another girl who openly dispises my old friend. but that wasn't because i was trying to spite her or anything. i just had been hanging out with this other person ALOT more on the weekends and i couldn't hang out with her on fridays and saturdays and then not hang out with her in school also. that would just be plain rude and fucked up.
so anyway sorry for such a long drawn out entry. i just needed to get that out and i need people to understand that i'm not a henious bitch. i just had a lot of pent up frustration and resentment towards a certain someone but i'm not even gonna bother wasting any time actively hating her. its just so pointless now that we graduate in 2 months.
so besides all that spring break has been FANTASTICC and i'm having soo much fun!!!
current mood: contemplative
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|Monday, April 25th, 2005|
|Wednesday, April 20th, 2005|
the past couple of days have been really good!!! its been really warm and sunny out and it feels like summer is here! yay! me margaret and emma went to emma's dads apartment yesterday and today to work out. its actually been soo fun! i feel like i've actually been doing something productive and i feel really active. hopefully i'll look semi-decent for prom//the beach if i keep at it. we're gonna try to go work out at least 3 days a week. after we work out we go downstairs and swim in the pool. its been really nice to spend time with them! :-) |
bah...today we got report cards. right before spring break thats just fantastic. ms walters and ms monticelli both hate me so they downgraded me for it....dumb bitches. oh well!
current mood: good
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|Monday, April 18th, 2005|
9:31 pm - i simply cannot take school any longer...
i cannot wait until spring break (which is in 4 days). ughh it still feels like forever away. my fam. is gonna be gone ALL week!!! i'm soo happy i can barely contain my excitement! yay!! |
they are all driving me crazzzzzy!! i can't even deal anymore.
next week is gonna be the best ever!!!!
current mood: tired
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|Friday, April 15th, 2005|
2:02 pm - why do i suck at life??
ok...so i'm home right now except i really should be in economics but i feel like i'm going to vomit any second. when i walked inside my house i was searching through the mail looking for a letter from the school about scholorships. i was excited to see that i had indeed received a letter from school...until i opened it. i unlike all my friends hadn't gotten a scholorship application, i got a letter saying that my math teacher is denying me credit because i have 23 absences (opps..). FUCK. this really sucks balls. now i have to go through the whole stupid appeal process because i'm NOT not getting credit for that class...i have struggled with math all year and i refuse for it to not count. |
i don't even know what i'm gonna do. i can get like a note from my dentist saying i had my wisdom teeth out in like october and then i went on vacation in november for a week and then one week i was R E A L L Y sick with the flu or something but i never went to the doctor so its not like i can get a note for it. ughh i don't know what i'm gonna do!!!
i woke up in a really good mood this morning and its all gone downhill from there...
current mood: pissed off
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|Tuesday, April 12th, 2005|
Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male
You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.
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|Sunday, April 10th, 2005|
today i went to my great-grandfather's 84th birthday party. i was dreading going just because i usually H A T E family get togethers but it actually turned out to be pretty nice. |
i was thinking alot about my graduation party today and i got really excited for it. i don't really wanna graduate, i just wanna have my party because all my friends and family are going to be there and i think its going to be reallly fun. :-)
ugh..i have to go do hw which sucks but after today i can go back to my normal relaxed nights since i never do work anymore..this past week was so stressful since i saved all the work from 3rd quarter till the last day pretty much.
i can't wait to talk to rob today. i saw him for about 5 minutes yesterday because i happened to be at starbucks with marisa and he was on his way home so he stopped by to say hi. i had a really horrible dream last night about him and my father -- nothing related to each other or anything -- but separately bad things happened to/with both of them and after i have nightmares about people i love i feel better once i talk to them the next day just to re-affirm that it wasn't true and it was all in my head (even though i should know that anyway). god i am such a little baby.
current mood: mellow
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|Saturday, April 9th, 2005|
4:08 pm - yayy!
heyy -- |
soo i'm extremely tired. i just got back from new paltz about 40 minutes ago. i had to wake up at 7 after going to bed at 3 am but oh well it was worth it.
i'm soo happy because i finally know where i'm going!! i absolutely loved new paltz. the campus was gorgeous, the people were soo nice, the dorms were cool and the town is soo cute and i can totally see myself there. and the best part about it is that even though freshmen aren't allowed cars on campus, there are houses like right across the street from the college and i can just drive my car up there anyway and park it on a street in front of some houses or something. it makes me so happy that i can come home whenever i want to to see my fam, rob, and marisa and julia <33.
its such a relief to have finally made a decision. i mean i was always pretty sure i would end up at new paltz but now i'm positive. and i was really scared i was gonna hate it because marisa did and we have really similar taste and margaret and beth told me that they weren't sure if it would be somewhere i could enjoy going. i'm so happy they were wrong. because its not like i'm settling for new paltz just because its the closest, i genuinely really like it alot. i seriously didn't see one thing about it that turned me off from it.
the funny thing is is that its known for being a really hippy-college/town but i didn't get that impression at all! i hardly saw any people like that. most people just looked completely normal.
even though i'm happy with my choice, i'm still so sad to graduate and say goodbye to my friends. thats going to be even harder than i can ever imagine. especially leaving rob but i'm really hoping that he'll be ok with staying together because it took me only an hour to get there and i'll have a car!
well i'm off to go hang out with the sugs for a bit!
current mood: jubilant
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|Tuesday, April 5th, 2005|
heyy -- |
haven't been updating alot lately. i've been kinda busy. this week has been/will continue to be insane. i have so much work to make up its not even funny. yesterday i spent hours doing stupid poetry journals and i didn't even finish. tonight i have to finish that up, do a math review sheet which is gonna take me an hour, and then i have to do just about every apes journal of the quarter. its gonna be a looong night. then tomorrow i have to finish working on apes journals (because they probably won't be done), and then i have to do some owed contagious diseases and economics hw! ughh!! i feel like i'm going to be doing work forever. i don't even think i'll be able to take a nap at all this week which really sucks a lot.
anyway...this weekend i'm going to visit new paltz. i really hope i like it. if i don't then that will be a problem considering i've invested most of my time into that school. its really crazy that all my friends (for the most part) know where they're gonna go. yesterday beth got accepted to albany. i'm really happy for her!
so this weekend was pretty good. friday night i hung out with rob -- we saw the ring 2. then saturday night i went to jayjay's house with marisa and gina and we watched movies/O.C. season one episodes. gina made a couple incredibly funny prank phone calls. then around 3 gina drove us home. it was a really fun night even though we didn't do much of anything. sunday i should have spent the day doing all this work that is now plauging me but of course i didn't because i'm me and thats what i do (or rather don't do).
its sooo nice out today! i really hope it ends up staying like this for the rest of the week! i can't deal with anymore rain//cold.
in a little bit i'm going to get my nails done//eyebrows waxed which is desperately needed.
ciao lovelys! <3
current mood: okay
(comment on this)
|Friday, April 1st, 2005|
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| ||70% |
|Stability |||||||||||| ||33% |
|Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| ||63% |
|Empathy |||||||||||||||||| ||63% |
|Interdependence |||||||||||||||||||| ||76% |
|Intellectual |||||| ||16% |
|Mystical |||| ||10% |
|Artistic |||||||| ||30% |
|Religious |||||||||||||||| ||56% |
|Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||||| ||83% |
|Materialism |||||||||||||||||||||| ||83% |
|Narcissism |||||||||||||| ||43% |
|Adventurousness |||||||||||||| ||43% |
|Work ethic |||||||| ||23% |
|Self absorbed |||||||||||||||||| ||63% |
|Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| ||43% |
|Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||| ||63% || |
|Romantic |||||||||||||||||||||| ||83% |
|Avoidant |||| ||10% |
|Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||||| ||76% |
|Wealth |||||||| ||30% |
|Dependency |||||||||||||||||||||| ||83% |
|Change averse |||||||||||||||||||||| ||90% |
|Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| ||70% |
|Individuality |||||| ||16% |
|Sexuality |||||||||||||| ||50% |
|Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| ||70% |
|Physical security |||||||| ||30% |
|Food indulgent |||||||||||||| ||43% |
|Histrionic |||||||||||||||||||||| ||83% |
|Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| ||70% |
|Vanity |||||||||||||| ||50% |
|Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||| ||90% |
|Female cliche |||||||||||||||||||||| ||90% |
so its friday!! yay! and i'm home which is even better!!! my mom decided to be nice and let me miss my afternoon classes which is soo good because i would rather lick dog shit off my shoes than go to poetry! -- ok not quite that extreme but ya know...
so i have to go to work today :-( which i'm not really feeling up to but oh well. tonight i'm pretty sure i'm hanging out with rob :-). i think we're seeing the ring 2 which should be good! i'm in a really good moood right now. i don't really know why. in one week i'll be a 4th quarter senior!!! that is sooo crazy! i cannot believe graduation is in less than 3 months. god! that is sooo weird. i'm really scared. still dunno what i'm doing next year but i'm going to visit new paltz next saturday so after that i'm pretty sure i can make a decision. i'll be really happy when i know what i'm gonna do.
i really need to find a good job, better than the sucky one i have. it really sucks alot... but hey without it i wouldn't know rob.
speaking of rob, its april fools day and i know for fact that hes gonna try to pull something on me...it better not be mean. since i'm expecting it i hope i dont actually fall for it but i'm extremely gulliable so i probably will anyway.
well, i'm off to relax a bit before work. this weekend is gonna be incredibly boring (well just sunday) because i have TONS AND TONS of work to makeup!!
<3 the end!
current mood: energetic
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|Monday, March 28th, 2005|
weekends go by wayy too fast. we had a 4 day weekend and it didn't even feel any longer than normal. anyway it was fun. thursday night i hung out with rob for a little bit and then just went home and collapsed because i was soo exhasuted. it was the first time i was able to sleep late in forever.
friday i woke up at 11ish and took a shower. then i went out to lunch with billy who while i was with him found out that he got into BC with a huge scholorship. i was sooo happy for him. then after lunch, i walked home and rob picked me up and i went to work. after work i hung out with rob for a while and then i was supposed to meet up with marisa and jayjay but they decided to have an early night because jayjay had to get up at 8 for work the next morning so again i just kinda hung out at home.
saturday was a lot of fun. i met jayjay in town and we had lunch and i hung out with her at the pharmacy for a while. then i walked home and my dad and i hung out for a while. i got to go driving! :-) later on he dropped me off at the movies where i met gina, marisa, jayjay and the sugrues. we saw miss congeniality 2. it was ok. after that, we decided to get drunk so gina stopped by my house so that i could pick up alcohol. we all drank at gina's house. i got completely trashed. it was a very fun//interesting night.
easter sunday i woke up with a horrible hangover and had to go to a family friends for the day. after i stopped feeling sick it was actually a pretty nice day. i ate sooo much food it was disgusting but oh well it was a holiday. we all watched the 10 commandments (which has nothing to do with easter or jesus but oh well) and then around midnight we left.
today i didn't do anything at all. it was a very unproductive and lazy day. i reallllly should have done lots of hw considering i'm failing poetry really badly and kinda need to pass that to graduate.
i feel like college talk has been very popular lately. its coming down to the wire and everyone is starting to decide where they're gonna go. that got me thinking and now i'm soo confused as to what i want to do next year!! ideally i would love to go to like fordham or manhatanville and live on campus there so that i wouldnt be living at home but would still be really close but my stupid parents won't let me do it because they think its a big waste of money. i'm thinking i'll probably just go to new paltz and see how i like it. if i end up hating being away i can always transfer and live back at home. i guess i would kind of regret not giving campus life a chance. but i'm SOOO worried about rob. he is such a huge factor in my decision yet i keep putting off talking to him about it because i'm so afraid hes going to want to break up next year. i hate how the whole admissions process starts so early in the year. i mean you wouldn't think much would change between the beginning and end of senior year but for me it has. i am in a completely different situation than i thought i would be in september. rob wasn't even a factor when i started applying to college because we had just started going out. now 7 months later we're still together and i don't wanna leave him. i'm soo confused about everything.
well thats about all i have to say. i'm gonna go finish the breakfast club. the end <33
current mood: weird
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|Sunday, March 20th, 2005|
2:03 pm - sorry!
woah that entry was wayy long but i don't know how to do those cut things. so if anyone could let me know how to do them so i don't need to waste your time with my ususally boring entries that would be great!! thankss.
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1:39 pm - westmunc weekend
so finally i'm home relaxing after a completely exhausting, yet fun weekend. westmunc was actually pretty good. i think that my committee was better last year (due to the fact that i had margaret, danny, marisa and jeremy in it) but this one wasn't bad. Saturday night was a lot better this year.|
so friday: friday i like didn't go to school. i went to forensics first period and then i was supposed to have gym, SH, then economics but i ended up cutting my other classes. me and margaret hung out all day. during the second block we got breakfast with billy and andrew and then we went to andrew's house for a bit. then we went back to school for lunch. during 6th period margaret let me drive around town for a while and then we went to my house so i could pick up my stuff for westmunc. and during the last block, we drove back to school to pick up danny and we had a picnic at the waterfront. it was fun but really cold so we didn't end up staying long. after school we all kinda just relaxed at margarets house until 4 when i had to go back to school for westmunc. westmunc started out pretty good. in terms of committee sessions, friday night is always the best because people are excited to be doing it and its not so incredibly long and tedious like on saturday. after westmunc ended for the night, i went home and then rob picked me up and we hung out for a while. it sucked only because we were both SO tired so we both kept nodding off on his couch. i got home around 3 am and then went right to be because i was completely exhausted.
saturday: woke up around 7:40ish and got ready for westmunc. committee sessions were so long and tedious but it was ok because the whole time i concentrated on planning stuff for the night. during lunch andrew ben and i all smoked up. then at dinner time, danny picked us up and we went to superfoods to buy beer. gaby went with olivia and got us a lot of vodka. we ended up having so much alcohol it was ridiculous. then after we got all the liqour and everyone changed, we all went to andrew's house to drink before the dance. around 8ish we all walked down to school for the dance which was AMAZING!!! it was so much fun. since i was so drunk already i just walked in and like went crazy. it was so weird not caring about the other people because since it was the beginning no one was dancing yet (except me and all my insanely drunk friends). the only bad thing about it was that i felt a little lonely. jay had come up so beth was with him, gaby was dancing with some random guys and then margaret hooked up with some kid from fairfield so she was with him all night. i hated that rob wasn't there but it was still alot of fun cuz i got to dance with the sugrues (my all time fav. dance partners). then around 9:30/10:00 we left to go to the keg! yes...keg finally we had one this year. i actually don't really remember a lot. i was soo cold because i had left my jacket in my locker and the stupid janitor at school didn't let me get it so i was wearing this tiny little thing that didn't keep me warm at all. then i got pissed off because will wouldn't give me a free cup and THEN he wouldn't give me one for $4 (they're usually 5 but i only had 4 AND i'm his friend AND i'm a senior so that was BS) but luckily mike urban (who somehow always ends up helping me out in some way at kegs) gave me a dollar. so then i drank more and just got so completely bombed. most of the night i sat like passed out on a log just dying. i was like one of the last people to leave. i walked out with marisa, jeremy, margaret and that guy she was with. then marisa took me home.
sunday: this morning i painfully woke up at 8 to get ready for the last day of westmunc. westmunc wasn't too bad because the last day no one does anything so most of the time my committee just kinda sat there and talked (and tried to convince these obnoxious delegates from france to get up and dance). then we had closing ceremonies and then brunch. around 12:50 my mom picked up and i got a muffin and went home which leaves me here.
its so weird because the whole senior thing is starting to really sink in now. like westmunc has always been something that i've done in high school. and for the past two years its been something i've been preparing months for (since i've been a chair). but now its all over. it was so weird to think that this was my last westmunc ever. i keep forgetting that all of the annual events at my school will be stuff i never get to do again. SO strange. but i don't really want to think about that.
so anyway i'm literally drained and am in serious need for a nap before i have to get up and do my homework so that i'll be ready to go to school AGAIN tomorrow. (the one thing i hate is having to have been at school everyday for 2 weeks straight thanks to westmunc).
current mood: tired
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|Wednesday, March 16th, 2005|
today was actually semi-productive for me. usually during school i literally do nothing. half the time i'm not even awake during class. but today (and the past couple days for that matter) i've been sort of active. i was actually motivated enough to do my work in apes and i got my math homework done before school was over. i did kind of doze off in poetry however, but since its poetry it doesn't count. i actually really need to do some work for that class. i'm not failing math anymore because i finally got all my work in. but poetry is a different story. oh well. |
after school today i even cleaned my room! what is wrong with me. usually after school i come home and fall asleep and usually wake up anywhere between 8 and 10. i did end up taking a nap but that was later on after everything was finished. i don't even know what got me so motivate to do it but i'm glad i did. i feel like cleaning the living room now but i'm just wayy to tired to do that. i guess i'll work on that tomorrow if i have time. tomorrows gonna be pretty busy. i have all my classes and then i have work after school. not to mention i have to do all my last minute westmunc prep.
so yeah that was my day. sorry for the incredibly boring and pointless entry that you took 3 minutes out of your short life to read.
current mood: thirsty
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